Diabetes Juvenil

Exhausted doesn't even begin to explain how I'm feeling at the moment.  Over the last few days, we've moved into a new house, worked and lived through some construction efforts in our home, traveled to the Toronto International Film Festival for the Buried Canadian premiere (by propeller plane, but more on that panic attack later), and then hoofed it to NYC for a screening (more on that later, too).  Our house is chaos, our schedules are all over the place, and my health management is under duress.

Even though all of this stuff is exciting and the journey to get here has been incredible, it's a lot to manage all at once.  I love to travel, but I hate the actual process of "getting somewhere."  I don't travel light, I have some physical limitations that make travel difficult (read:  tendinitis so bad that I can't lift a bag without wussing out), and I'm still not a fan of flying.  That, combined with the lack of sleep and a wildly varying schedule (including nights that push the 3 am envelope - hey, college throwback!), is a recipe for disaster with all the diabetes stuff.

Blood sugars have had pockets of success, like last night at the Tribeca screening, where I held rock solid between 100 - 150 mg/dl all evening long.  But there have been some disastrous runs, like the night of the Toronto screening, where I was over 280 mg/dl for four hours, despite boluses.  (I eventually took an injection and pulled the site, but the site seemed fine.  I hate when the cause of highs can't be nailed down.)  I'm testing a lot, but my body isn't responding to things normally.  Foods that I'm usually able to tolerate, numbers-wise, are now throwing me into the stratosphere  or tossing me into the trenches.  I'm living on a steady diet of coffee and lip gloss.  Infusion sets are staying in for four days at a time (instead of the three days I had committed to while pregnant - absorption is so much better when you follow the damn rules) and I think the last time I changed my lancet was when BSparl was born.  

I'm a hot mess.  And not in that cool way.  More in that "Geez, Kerri, you think you're cured or something, the way you've been acting lately" way.  (Note:  Haven't been cured.  Just a very scattered diabetic these days.)

I'm not sure if these hiccups seem more dramatic because they're in contrast to the very tight, very obsessive control I had while pregnant, but in any event, I'm not pleased with my lack of commitment to sparkle motion.  (see also:  hot mess)  But I have to get things back under control.  Events for Chris seem to be coming up every week, and I want to be physically ready to attend with him.  (As in, I don't want to be 39 mg/dl.  Or 399 mg/dl.)  And this is all without mentioning my smiley little daughter, who would do well to have a mom who isn't bouncing all over the blood sugar map.  

The next six weeks will be challenging for me, as both a diabetic and a new mom, because it's sort of non-stop until the holidays.  And even though the events are coming and going, the diabetes isn't.  I can't spend the next six weeks winging it.  I need to find a way to do these things without sacrificing all of my diabetes control.

I can do this.  If I was able to get my terrified arse on a propeller plane, I can wrangle in a blood sugar or two. 
Posted by Kerri Morrone Sparling on September 17, 2010 09:28 AM